These blog entries provide recollections from 20 years of living with chronic pain and many more years of living with PTSD.
I began writing last year in an attempt to give a voice to the chronic pain and to the trauma of PTSD. The writing started as a creative project during a “Mindfulness For Pain Management” course in which we were asked to express our pain either through a picture or through the written word. I chose to write.
I selected one hour out of my 20 years in chronic pain and attempted to convey, in words, what it really means to live in pain, day by day, hour by hour, month by month, year by year.
I shared my writing with my classmates and discovered that the writing and the sharing was therapeutic – for me and for them. It provided a voice that said what they all wanted to say but couldn’t find the words to say it.
I decided that I would continue to write and continue to share with any and all of you who are suffering from chronic pain, or PTSD, and who are trying to find a way to voice it.
The writings are primarily stream of consciousness, during which I place myself back in time and into those moments that are representative of my life. They are voiced in a way that bares the heart and soul, leaving one vulnerable. They are meant to be read in the same voice.
Although not cheerful subjects, there will be moments to uplift. After all, 20 years in pain, and many more years living with PTSD, and I am still here and life still has value.
Regarding the PTSD, I live, now, with greatly reduced symptoms thanks, in large part, to about four years of psychotherapy and courses on anxiety and depression and mindfulness. There is, overall, less anxiety and depression and there are much fewer, and less severe, panic attacks.
Regarding the chronic pain, in many ways I am doing so much better, but there is still pain every day and it is spreading throughout my body.
I look forward to sharing how much a life can improve when one seeks, and is lucky enough to find, the help needed.
Thank you for visiting with me today. Share your thoughts if you wish. And come back again any time. I’d love to share my journey with you.
Great writing, iwendy!
My dear friend Wendy. You’ve done a magnificent job of describing the pain you’ve carried for so long. Your words caused me to actually feel it in my heart and gut. Your honesty is raw and genuine.
Your message of wanting to help others share their stories and move forward is beautiful. I appreciate that you can recommend ways to help oneself to heal.
I commend you for being courageous enough to share your experiences. You’ve been through so much. How do you have the energy to start a blog?
You sound as if you’re bringing yourself back from all of the pain, hurt, anger, despair, isolation, loneliness and frailty.
I’m looking forward to learning how to make my journey easier. I already feel that I’m on the right path. Thanks so much for being a friend.
I am simply overwhelmed by your feedback, Dawn. Thank you so much. I just didn’t know what to expect when I garnered my courage and pushed the “Publish” button. That you have taken the time, and made the effort, to provide such positive feedback is all the fuel that I need to keep going with this. Thank you again, and again, and again! I sincerely hope that you find your own path to healing and that you will, indeed, find a way to make your journey easier. I am also so glad that you are my friend.
Dear Wendy. ..difficult to read your blog, it must be a thousand times harder to live it..what can we do to help?
love
little brother
Just be my little brother and his beautiful wife! And thank you for caring.
Perhaps a trip to Scotland would help – BenRinnes, the coast, the hills, the WHISKY!!
Without a doubt! I’ll have to make it happen. And don’t forget the G&T!! I long to see the hills, I long to visit the coast.
A great intro Wendy…I will have to read more. I hope this platform puts you in touch with others you don’t see every day nor have ever met or might never meet, if only to share common experiences and to hopefully make everyone’s life easier! Putting yourself out there is not easy, I know from being an artist, but I always find that the rewards outweigh the fears.
Thanks so much, Star. And thank you also for the artwork that will accompany every blog. It is, as I had hoped, both beautiful and powerful, exactly what I wanted! You make it seem easy, and, yet, I know very well that it is not. And I have already received so many rewards in just the short time since I published these first writings… the comments and support of good friends and family!
Wendy, I had no idea you had been through so much. I can relate to severe anxiety and depression. You’re a trooper and if there is ever anything I can do for you, please let me know. Love you lots cousin xo
You are so sweet, Paula, after all that you have been through yourself over these many years. I thought that I would go to my grave with all of this stuff burdening me but, after the last 4+ years of psychotherapy, I am finally finding a voice for it. It is kind of you to send love and support. I am sending it back to you as well!
Wendy..you are a star..life is not easy as we know and you are helping people like myself by sharing your story..I wish we lived by each other so we could support each other more..thank you for all the love and light you show to us all xxx suz
Yes, I was thinking the same thing, that it would be nice to live near each other! I guess virtual hugs will have to do! So here is one going out your way right now💫💫💫✨✨✨💫💫💫I hope it finds you feeling an easing of symptoms and a measure of peace and contentment. Thank you for your positive feedback on my blog. It means a lot to me!💖